Lies are hard to keep straight . . . That's why I have an organizer.
Argue for your limitations, and you get to keep them.
He who laughs last... thinks the slowest.
If it's "Tourist Season", how come I can't shoot any?
I'll call myself a procrastinator later.
I told you not to touch me there!
Professional Development? Does this mean we get to go to DisneyWorld?
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Where am I going? And what am I doing in this handbasket?
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.
So I guess when you tell people about your past, it's met with some skepticism...?
Jealous?! Hell No! Not if she told me ALL about it. In DETAIL...
So now I can call you my estranged wife, instead of simply my strange wife...
Glibido: All talk and no action.
The three most important rules of life:
Don't sweat the small stuff.
It's all small stuff.
Never fry bacon in the nude.
"...the person who makes one an ally in disloyalty will, sooner or later, transfer one to the receiving end of the process."
she was like water.... so tasteless yet wet
"That's redundant. And you said the same thing twice!"